Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I will pee on everything he values.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
