I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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