you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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