Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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