if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
