So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
