she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
