Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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