Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
