I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
