considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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