they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
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