So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
