It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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