Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
