the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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