I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
