why didn't you poke me back
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
