I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
