Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
