I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
