i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
