I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
