I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
