I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Acid is not a monday night drug
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
