Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
this must be what syphilis tastes like
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
