He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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