Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
