didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
