we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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