Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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