i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
