how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
