I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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