I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Randomize
