Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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