my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
