I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
