How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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