i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
