I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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