You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
