Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
