i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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