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• (917): View more from New York City

  last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks

  (917): View more from New York City

  this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed

  (917): View more from New York City

  he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?

  (718): View more from New York

  messed up. what color are the wings?

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• (713): View more from Texas

  i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Did you see that girl I got with last night?

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it

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• (03): View more from

  you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?

  (219): View more from Indiana

  Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me

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