I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
