oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
