I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
