i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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