Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
