You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
