So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
