His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
