Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
