I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We talked him into tasing himself.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
