yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
