I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
This is not my ceiling
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
